Tell her she can't have a vagina
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
