Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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