You made me cry and you don't even care
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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