I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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