New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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