i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
