Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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