Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
