you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
