Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize