Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize