Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The air was thick with penises
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
