I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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