There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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