You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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