The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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