Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
