Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
