i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My life is pants optional.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
