I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
