Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
