Rock
Scissors
Fuck
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
