He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
