I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
