Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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