Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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