I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
