Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
All the doctor said was why
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
