I accidentally burped into my bong.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize