Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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