I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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