i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
vagina is talking i cant
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
