i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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