I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
