I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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