drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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