we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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