it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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