I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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