Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
