i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
