hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize