EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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