question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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