Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
