I look better un-naked...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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