Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
