I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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