Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
