There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
