I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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