Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
