Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
