Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
