Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
