Can Purell be used as lube?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
