Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
there is glitter all over my balls
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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