we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
