bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
