I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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